4 Ways to Become More Resilient

Last week, I wrote about how to tell whether you are a dandelion - someone who is super-resilient, or an orchid - someone who is more sensitive and reactive to your environment. This article is for any of you who are orchids :)

Orchids have an innate sensitivity, which scientists think results from a combination of genetic traits and early life experiences. The ancient parts of your brain that are focused on survival, running in the deep background, are very sensitive to what is happening in your environment. The survival brains of different people might hone in on different aspects of the environment, such as:

• Sights

• Sounds

• Smells

• Cues from other people - facial expressions, what they are saying, how they are interacting with you and other people

The acute sensitivity of orchids can be a great gift, and also presents some challenges. Highly sensitive children and adults tend to have more physical and mental health challenges. Needing to expend a lot of energy coping with sensitivity reduces the energy orchids have for pursuing their life goals. Being highly sensitive can make relationships challenging.

For a long time, it was thought that the best strategy for dealing with environmental sensitivity was to develop coping strategies, especially avoiding potential triggers such as people, situations, smells, etc.

Now, however, we know that it is possible to rewire your brain for greater resilience. You can actually change the physical structures of your brain to be less sensitive. Then you are better able to enjoy the gifts of sensitivity, have more satisfying relationships, and share your gifts with the world.

Here are four ways to develop more resilience:

1. Self-compassion - Highly sensitive orchids tend to feel there is something wrong with them because they react more strongly to many things than people who are not as sensitive. So start with understanding that this sensitivity is built into your brain - based on your genetics and life experiences, your survival brain has become more reactive to your environment because it thinks that’s what is needed to protect you. Having compassion for yourself is a great place to start.

2. Calm your survival brain - I wrote about this in a recent article called 7 Ways to Calm Your Survival Brain. You can use the newer parts of the brain (such as the prefrontal cortex) to help your survival brain learn to relax and feel safe in the world, which will help you be less sensitive and reactive to the environment. The strategies talked about in the article for helping calm your survival brain are:

   1. Practice gratitude

   2. Prioritize joy/laughter

   3. Spend more time in nature

   4. Seek out positive social support

   5. Focus on positive thoughts and feelings

   6. Talk to your survival brain

   7. Use positive visualization

3. Own your attention - Our world is full of more human-created distractions than ever before. We all know how easy it is to spend our days distracted by the vast quantities of information streaming towards us in many different forms. This is challenging for everyone, but for those who are highly sensitive to inputs from the environment, this barrage of information can be even more overwhelming. As our world grows ever more complex, one of the best things we can do for resilience is develop practices that help us own our own minds rather than being constantly distracted. This can include planning time in our day for activities that help calm and focus our minds such as meditation, quiet, and daydreaming.

4. Positive community - More research is being done all the time that shows how profoundly social we humans are, and what a deep impact social relationships have on all aspects of our lives. This can present a challenge for highly sensitive orchids, who are more sensitive to the moods and behavior of other people, as well as the social dynamics between people. Coping strategies such as having enough time to yourself can help. But we all need other people to thrive, so it can be very helpful to seek out and build relationships with other people who are going to help you thrive - other people who are interested in living a life of joy and purpose. And for dealing with the people in our lives who we want to be connected with but who aren’t interested in being more positive, developing good boundaries can really help.

Those are four strategies that can help us build more neural pathways of resilience. The great thing is that as we become more resilient, the world appears less threatening to our survival brains. We start to have more positive experiences, which build up our resilience even more - it’s a beautiful positive cycle!

What is one thing you can do today to increase your resiliency? Send a quick email and let me know :)

Thanks for reading! I’d love to hear from you! Please send your comments, questions, and suggestions to liz@happybrainlife.com.

Have a fabulous day!

Liz