5 Steps to Becoming a Better Sleeper
Do you have trouble sleeping? A reader recently asked for tips on how to become a better sleeper. Sleep has been getting a lot of attention lately - there are many articles, books, TED talks, and more on this topic.
We all are learning the importance of sleep, and the many factors in our modern world that make getting enough sleep a challenge.
You might already have heard of healthy sleep habits, often called “sleep hygiene,” such as keeping your bedroom dark, not looking at screens for at least an hour before bed, getting enough exercise during the day but not right before bed, etc.
Sleep hygiene strategies can help a lot, but for many people just practicing good sleep hygiene isn’t enough. That’s when bringing in strategies from brain science can help. In this article I’ll share strategies from neuroscience that can help you rewire your brain to become a better sleeper.
Here are five steps to rewire your brain for better sleep:
1) Figure out your “why.” What is your motivation? Why do you want to become a better sleeper? The more specific reasons you can come up with, the more your brain will know that this is something important to you. For example,
I want to be a better sleeper so I will have more energy and patience with my kids.
I want to be a better sleeper so my mind will be sharper and clearer, which will help me achieve my career goals.
I want to be a better sleeper so I have more energy to enjoy time with my partner.
2) Calm your survival brain. The survival brain is the ancient part of our brain that is responsible for keeping us safe. For many people in our modern world, this part of our brain is highly overactivated and tends towards 24/7 hypervigilance. As you can imagine, this makes it difficult to relax and fall asleep. 7 Ways to Calm Your Survival Brain describes simple things we can do to help calm our survival brains, such as gratitude, joy, social connection, and being in nature. When your survival brain is calmer throughout the day, it will be calmer at night too, making it easier to fall asleep and stay asleep.
3) Observe your thoughts about sleep. What do you say to yourself (and others) about sleep? Do you say things like, “I’m a terrible sleeper. I often have trouble sleeping. Every night I worry about whether I’m going to be able to fall asleep.” Each time you have such thoughts, it reinforces the “poor sleeper” neural pathways in your brain, especially if the thoughts are accompanied by strong emotion. Become aware of what you think and say about sleep. It can help to write down your thoughts as you become aware of them.
4) Pattern interrupt your thoughts. If you find that you have a lot of unhelpful thoughts about sleep, develop strategies for interrupting and replacing those thoughts with more helpful thoughts. This takes patience, but with repeated practice over time you can replace negative thoughts about sleep. At first it might feel like you are faking it, like “how can I say that I’m a good sleeper when I’m not?” If that’s the case, come up with examples of times that you have slept great. If you can’t come up with real memories, you can make up memories. It may seem strange, but the ancient part of the brain that you are trying to reach actually can’t tell the difference between real memories and ones that you make up. Write out the old thoughts and the new thoughts that you want instead, along with the substantiating information. For example:
Old thought: I’m a terrible sleeper.
New thought: I’m actually a great sleeper! I fall asleep easily, sleep deeply, and wake up refreshed! Here are a few of the many times when that has happened: (list those real or imagined memories)
5) Visualization. Visualization is very powerful for building new neural patterns. One great method is to first visualize a time in the past when you slept well, and then visualize a time in the future when you are sleeping great. Remember, the part of the brain you are trying to reach can’t tell the difference between visualization and reality. If you show your survival brain pictures and tell it stories of you being a great sleeper, it will accept those as true.
Here’s a description of how you could use visualization for creating new neural pathways around sleep:
Visualize a time in the past when you slept great. Again, if you can’t remember a time, make it up. Engage all of your senses, and use the present tense. For example, “I’m on vacation at the ocean. I’m sleeping in a super-comfy bed. I can hear the sea gently rolling in and out. I can smell the salty air. I feel so deeply calm and relaxed. I gently and easily drift off to sleep.” Spend a few minutes with the past visualization, and then visualize a time in the future, again using all your senses and speaking in the present tense: “I’m waking up after a wonderful night of sleep in my cozy bed. The sheets are so soft and comfortable. I can hear the birds singing outside my window. I feel refreshed, full of energy, and ready to start the day.” Really savor the feelings of sleeping deeply and waking refreshed.
Building new neural networks isn’t complicated, it just takes some time and patience.
Just keep reinforcing the new patterns with these steps:
remind yourself of your “why,”
calm your survival brain throughout the day,
become aware of your habitual mental patterns around sleep,
interrupt the old neural patterns when they arise and replace them with more helpful mental patterns, and
visualize being a great sleeper in the past and future (ideally visualize a few minutes every day until the new patterns are built).
Combined with good sleep hygiene practices, you’ll be well on your way to being the great sleeper that nature intended us all to be!
If this is something you’d like to work on, what is your “why?” How would being a better sleeper make your (and your family’s) life better? If you’d like, send an email and share your why.
I’d love to hear from you! Send your comments, questions, and suggestions to liz@happybrainlife.com.
Sweet dreams,
Liz
Note: If there is trauma in your past, your survival brain may be very reluctant to relax and let down its guard, so more intensive work may be needed. If so, please seek out whatever help you need.
