Dealing with Difficult People Part 1

Do you have a hard time dealing with difficult people? Most heart-centered people do.

As kind, compassionate, considerate people, we naturally expect others to be the same. When they aren’t, we can get caught off guard.

We want to see the best in others. That can lead to downplaying the impact someone’s negative behavior has on us.

We tend to pick up other’s emotions. Have you ever had the experience of being with someone who was negative and complaining, and at the end of the conversation they felt better, and you felt drained?

What can we do to take better care of ourselves with difficult people?

First, make a list of all the people in your life. Go through the list, and with each one, tune into your heart and ask whether they lift you up or bring you down. Some of your answers may surprise you. 

For the people who lift you up - spend more time with them!

For the people who bring you down, put them into three categories - 

1) People you don’t really care about, and it’s easy to minimize contact. Set good boundaries. If you have to see them, keep your contact short and superficial.

2) People you care about and want to spend time with, for example, a dear friend who tends to be negative and complaining. You can a) try talking with her, saying you’d like to keep your conversations more positive, b) try changing the subject when she gets into negativity. 

If those strategies don’t work, put good boundaries in place around your contact. For example, if you’re talking on the phone, she’s being negative and you’re getting drained, say you have to go. 

If you’re getting together in person, plan strategies in advance such as leaving the room to get a drink of water - anything to break up the flow and give you a chance to recenter. 

Next week we’ll talk about the third category - people who are really difficult, but you don’t have the option of minimizing contact, such as coworkers or family members.

It’s okay for you to set limits! Your time and energy are your most precious commodity, and you get to decide how you spend them.

Please take good care of yourself. We need you!

I’d love to hear from you! Please send comments, questions, or suggestions to liz@happybrainlife.com.

Love,

Liz